Mission Orientation?

I titled this post mission orientation... Since I've left a week ago i feel more disorientated than oriented. Perhaps that was the goal. Maybe the goal was to brake through all the stuff that I definitely know;  I definitely know how i will react, I definitely know how I feel, I definitely know I wouldn't do that! The fact of the matter is, if I definitely know one thing now it is that I definitely don't know everything!

My time spent in college trained me to think, and taught me that i can be an expert. But school is such an isolated and detached thing from the rest of the real world.  Ive learned in my year or so since graduation that I think I know a lot. But I have realized that life doesn't live in my thoughts, life happens.  I can try and control what I think, but it makes no difference to all the external things that happen all around me.

So i guess that leaves me thinking about not thinking. I guess the only way to move through is to be present. Thinking, to some extent implies not being present. Thinking causes me to go deeper into my head when i should be diving deeper into the moment.

When i am talking with people they tell me that I am so calm considering that I am leaving for S. Africa in 8 days. I reply, yes i am calm now but I imagine that i will breakdown in the airport and cry and cry and have snot come running down my nose, and all the people who are sitting next to me are either going to ask me if I am ok or just stare, like what in the world is his issue.

This very well may happen, but, if my goal is to stop thinking about how I think things will be and to live in the present then maybe I will just be overwhelmed not for what the future holds or what i will be leaving behind, but by how busy the airport will be or how many different people i will be seeing from my seat in the terminal, or how catchy the new music I got is.

My point is, that what I learned from orientation is to just let go. Just roll with it. I cant control anything external. Live in the moment. Be aware, be safe, but don't stress.

Thanks and take care!
M

P.s. Here are some fotos from throughout orientation...Enjoy